11 December 2010

lets say, its intermezo

it's saturday night.
i'm here.
sitting on the chair in coffeebreak coffee shop.
hearing sounds of rainy outside.
with my pram acommpaning me.
with slow music from the operator.
with a cup of cappucino.
there're so much people around me, talking with their friends or their relationpartner. i don't know.
so relax here. it's so long time, i didn't do activity like this.

suddenly i remembered, maybe 2 months ago, i sat in the same chair with my boyfriend.
we didn't talk too much. just quiet and did our own activity. we just looked each other with no reactions.
then i started to talk about our relationship. i felt like nothing, there're something problem about us since he went to another city, and we were trying to survive with Long Distance Relation or LDR.
we talked about it seriously. why and how, are a complicated questions about this topic. i always hate it. seems like we didn't know how to survive and why we couldn't understand the situation. so complicated.
we tried to get the clue about this. but still, we couldn't.
finally he talked much about him, his feeling and our relation. he said, understand and patient is the recipes to keep the relationship. could i? so long time i tried and tried to do that. it's hard. really hard. just for me maybe.
but really, i love him. i want to do that for us, but i'm tired. so did he.

now we still in the same relation, in the same commitment. trying to do our best for our relationship.
understand and patient, like he said. but could it be forever? i don't know. maybe yes, and maybe no.
we trying and doing anything we can, for us.

here. i'm alone. just trying to relaxing my saturday night with pram, music and my cappucino.
only them. sometimes think about him, but ....... i can't say.

let's say, it's intermezo.


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